A FATHER'S APPROVAL

I received a very special phone call this week. It was from my father who lives in the suburbs of Paris in France. He is now 87 and feels the need to put in affairs in order.  

During the call we talked business as well as about a book on our family history that I am translating for him. He was still rejoicing at one of my son’s wedding last summer as I announced to him that another one is getting married this fall, and another next summer. But to me, the peak of our conversation was when he   pronounced a blessing over me, my family, and my descendants. He also told me, “You are an exemplary father!”.

I must say that this touched me very much. I was born in 1958 and became the teenage French version of the imported American  Hippy as the movement was in full sway. My father saw me as I went through these very organic but unstable times through my young adulthood. He did not always agree with my choices but if I was in real trouble, I always knew that wherever I was in the world, I could call him and he’d try to do something. One time he even said, “What are fathers for but to clean up the ‘messes’ (he used another word!) of their children?”

My father came to visit me twice in the States in recent years. He saw how my wife and I live and he spent time with our  children.  He accompanied me as I commuted from place to place teaching, giving classes, playing for concerts as well as giving lectures. He came with me everywhere I went . He even helped stack my wood for the winter. One time as we were quietly driving Hwy 224 towards Estacada he pensively said, “You’re on the right path”. Those words may not be much, but to me, even as a father of six children myself, these words of approval from  my father felt very precious.  

We all travel on our journey trying to make do the best we can. We win some, we lose some, and we learn in the process. Now that we have grown, we may look at our children with fear and apprehension, and whereas we feel they may at time need a whack in the rear, though just a couple of hand spans up, an acknowledging approbatory  ‘Well done” pat on the back may do wonders.

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