I was listening to one of these talk shows on radio where people ask advice on marriage and everyday life. It was in 2001 and this man was asking advice on how to tell his wife that he wanted to enlist for a tour of duty in Iraq. The talk show host is herself very military minded and has children who are enlisted, but she asked the man, –“Is it something that your wife and you talked about before you decided to get married?”And then she continued –“I want a man who is home at night for dinner so I made sure not to marry a surgeon. Has your wife agreed to marry a soldier who might or might not come back from the front lines?”
When people get married they enter a contract with each other. This is actually the whole idea of marriage. It is good to once in a while review this contract and what it says. It might even be a good Valentine’s Day project to take account of how we faithfully (or unfaithfully) execute the promises of our marriage vows. Please, note that I said, to review our part of the contract not assessing our spouse’s, but how WE personally are doing. Did we say, “For richer or poorer”? Or, “”In sickness and in health?”, or even “I promise to be there for you to cherish and care for you all the days of my life till death do us part?” In the ancient world, contracts were written on a soft piece of clay later hardened in an oven. If one of the parties disobeyed the terms of the contract, the other had the option to take that piece of clay and break it as a sign that since the contract was broken, it was annulled. That’s why Moses broke the Tables of the Commandments. He didn’t go into a fit of rage; he just broke the contract God had made with Israel because Israel broke it through the making of the Golden Calf. Of course, the other party also has the option to forgive, which is what God eventually did in the case of Israel. Once a contract is made, it cannot be altered without a nullification of the former one. This is true of all legal contracts from marriage to business associations. If conditions change, we need to sit-down and re-write a new contract. Our word is only as good as we are faithful to execute the terms of what we promise. It seems a small thing today to not abide by our word but in business, marriage, or a court of law, it has wide ramifications. It was part of the 10 Commandments to not break vows (Exodus 20: 7), and Jesus said that it is better not to make vows than to make on and break it! (Mat 5:33--37). A good resource that I use for marriage counseling whenever I officiate a wedding: https://ffoz.com/adam-loves-eve-book.html
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