I read about a strange ritual in the Bible today. Moses instructed the Children of Israel that if a woman is suspected of adultery, her husband is supposed to take her to the priest. Among other altar rituals, the priest then unties her hair and gives her to drink a solution made of water, dust from the floor of the Tabernacle, and the washed down ink from a specified curse containing the Sacred Name of God that has been written on papyrus. All the details can be found in the fifth chapter of the Book of Numbers.
To understand the depth of this ritual, it is important to know that until this day, the Children of Israel never write the name of God wherever it can be erased or defaced. In this case, we have the Ineffable Name being both erased and defaced. The idea understood by this ritual is this. Suspicion of adultery is fatally toxic for a marriage. But God is so intent on protecting the stability of our families that, though He is innocent of any wrongdoing in the matter, He is willing to let His own name be erased and defaced to salvage the situation. I believe that discipleship is the imitation of God. As a husband and believer, this ritual teaches me a great lesson. Many things can go wrong in a marriage. Some can be easily solved with a rose, a ring, a meal at a restaurant, extra duties, or a simple, “I’m sorry!” Other can be more serious and difficult. In my many years counseling couples I have discovered that the three main fatal issues in a marriage revolve around money, children, and religion (not necessarily on that order for everyone). When leading new couples into marriage, I usually try to hit on these three issues. I am an old-fashioned person. I believe that a man is the head of his family. I also believe that because of this title, the buck stops with him, and that even as God is willing to let His own Name be besmirched in order to preserve our unions, we should be willing, guilty or not, to take the brunt of the blame all for the sake of keeping it together. A clergyman I heard about understood this. A woman who used to attend his teachings came home late one day. Her husband was so mad that he told her, “If you go back there, don’t come home unless you spit in his face!” When the teacher heard that, he said, “Spit in my face seven times and tell your husband you did even more than he asked!” Like in the ritual of the woman suspected of adultery, this humble clergyman understood that it was better for him to be shamed by this action than to see this marriage in tatters.
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