The difference between a received or rejected advice or idea seems to be in the wording of its presentation. That is why promoters are paid a lot of money. They learn how to present things in a way that it makes it desirable to others. Using lighting and psychology in presentations skills, store owners learn how to set things on a shelf in an attracting way. The food industry has developed a scientific recognition of smells that will make people come to their restaurants. When it comes to business, it does feel like an eerie form of manipulation, but the principle remains. Even God uses it. Encouraging us to healthy, moral, and ethical living He tells us that His commands will keep us spiritually, and sometime physically alive, while we may spiritually, and sometimes physically die if we choose to disobey them. (Deu 30:19)
A good leader has to learn how to present his ideas so that his crew feels that they are part of a great program. On the other hand, a crew member needs to learn how to present his objections without hitting at the ego of his commander. A lot of it is done through semantics and a humble attitude.
In the movie Anna and the King, Jody Foster plays an English teacher who had come to teach the numerous children of the King of Siam (now Thailand). One day she is approached by one of the queen‘s wives. “Please, we need to tell the king that he should not go to war. He will listen to you!”. “I will tell him!” responds the teacher. The wife then says, “Oh no; not like that. You must tell him in a way that he thinks it is his own idea!”
Here is another story to illustrate the point.
Once a king dreamed that all his teeth had fallen out. Immediately he sent for one of his soothsayers to interpret the meaning of the vision. With a sad countenance & mournful voice, the soothsayer told the monarch that the dream meant that all his relatives would die & that he would be left alone. This angered the king & he drove the servant from his presence.
Another was called & the king told him of the dream. At this, the wise man smiled, & replied, "Rejoice, O King; the dream means that you will live yet many years. In fact you will outlive all your relatives." This pleased the king a great deal, & in his joy he gave the interpreter a rich reward. The two men had said, in different ways, the same thing.
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